Tuesday, March 6

Let's All Watch Dawson's Creek Together! - Ep 9

Remember that time I was working my way through Dawson Creek, the series, while working two jobs and going to grad school? Its slow going. I promise I'll pick a better ep next time but...this episode has the best screengrabs I've taken in a long while. Here goes...Episode 9: The Road Trip

Dawson is whining about Jen dumping him, and Joey is being completely unsympathetic…because she clearly could care less. I love that Dawson makes sure that he's by the window while in the fetal position. So that if/when Jen Lindley was closing out a date with another guy, they could look up from her porch and see.....this. Talk about a boner shrinker, am I right?

Hey, WHOA! WHAT THE HOLY HELL?! Why is Wannabe-Paul-Rudd, Billy (Jen's ex who's into sex) coming in through Joey's door? That's JOEY'S DOOR, dude?!

Oh, naymind! Its just Jen's room, not Dawson's! Billy sneaks into the Lindley house in a last ditch attempt to woo Jen with his break-in skillz. Of course, Grandma Sourpuss threatens him with the wrath of her schoolmate chum, Satan.

Billy goes to sulk outside, but he can't seem too lame, so he does it while sitting on the roof of his 1990's red convertible, nonchalantly eating an apple. Get it? Forbidden fruit? AHAHAHAHAHA
He encounters Dawson and plays a mind-game with him, convincing Dawson that the only way to get Jen off his mind is to find another woman. Dawson is dumb enough to believe this. I thought this scene was going to develop differently, where the show would reveal Billy to actually be 47, based on his HEAVILY DEVELOPED CHEST HAIR and 5' O' CLOCK SHADOW . Seriously, what the hell.

Meanwhile, Joey gets into a car with a stranger.  He had candy, so he's probably legit. You'd think with all the problems in her life, she'd follow the Cardinal Rules of Childhood. His name is Warren, or Gary (I think its Warren Gary) but I shall call him Date Rape Dan.

At first, Date Rape Dan seems harmless, but then he starts making awful passes at Joey. "Can we get friendly down in the sand later?" OKAY, this is a pull from a line in the musical Grease. I'm watching a 90's TV show, referencing a movie made in the 70's about a high school set in the 50's. Kickin it old school on Dawson's Creek.
Joey redeems her Stranger-Danger lapse in judgement by quickly coming up with, "There's no proven correlation between a slider and a sperm count." THAT'S my girl!

In Capeside High, Dawson and Billy encounter Pacey. All three agree it’s a good idea to go to a nightclub. Only…if you'll notice by the screenshot below…its not even 8AM. So, my question is, what the hell are they doing all DAY? Why do they leave Capeside at 8 in the morning to get to a club in the neighboring town? Also, what high school doesn't start classes until 8AM?

Jen grabs Joey in the hall and they mingle with the guys pictured above, who try to make the girls jealous. "We're flirting with OTHER girls! Nanny-nanny poo-poo!"

Jen takes Joey aside to tell her that Date Rape Dan is spreading rumors that he and Joey got down in the sand. There's an intense closeup of Joey with guitar whammies in the background as she realizes everyone is staring at her. EVERYONE. Thanks, Extras.

So she confronts Date Rape Dan and his whole Date Rape Crew (high-fives…the grossest thing bros can do after sex) And, Date Rape Dan is a jock so he makes some sports reference like, "You know how in baseball there are major and minor leagues?" (ew), illiciting this response from Joey:


Then, for the first time in DC History..drom roll...Jen & Joey BOND! They both decide to unite over sticking it to Date Rape Dan with a rumor of their own! Praise Jesus, brunettes and blondes CAN be friends.

The 3 Amigos on the ferry see these two men harassing "everyone", but we only ever see this poor old woman get messed with. Don't get me wrong, that's enough to piss me off about these guys, too.

Dawson, STILL trying to prove he's a badass, has a plan for getting even with these guys. And guess where his idea comes from? A MOVIE!? Dawsonlovesmoviesok? He slides under their truck and attaches it to the end of the ferry. When they drive off, their entire undercarriage gets ripped off the truck. Here's Dawson, feeling the high of doing something naughty.

  Also, there's a brief moment where Pacey moons the guys as they drive in front of them. This is the WB though, so no real ass is shown.

Joey spreads a rumor that she is fake-pregnant after having fake-sex with Date Rape Dan. Word spreads to the Rent-A-Librarian educator from Season 1 who pulls Joey aside to talk to her about signing up for the Mommy-and-Me classes given at Capeside. Wait so…pregnancy is so prevalent at Capeside that they have a legit sponsored CLASS to help you with PARENTING? Date Rape Dan gets razzed by…everyone, I guess…for making Joey deal with the fake-pregnancy on her own(What a little puke!). I just love this screenshot.

On the other side of the ferry, its nighttime finally and Dawson, Pacey and Billy head to the club. Dawson picks up this woman because of her shirt, which is unexplainable to me. What does that MEAN? And he picks her to mack it with her based SOLELY on her shirt. Note how she hasn't turned around yet. She could look like Gollum, but devil-may-care Dawson goes for it.

Pacey decides to try flirting with Veda Sultenfuss.

It doesn't go great.

The other side of the Film Threat shirt is named Nina. Dawson confesses it wasn't her looks but her shirt that caught his eye. "What are you, some kind of film buff?" HEY LADY, I know you're new here but DAWSONLOVESMOVIESOK??!

Back at the Lindley residence, Jen is eating spaghetti and milk, when Joey walks in. Seriously…spaghetti…and MILK.  What a combo.
She and Joey discuss Phase 2 of Date Rape Dan: Sabotage Plan, when things change. Joey accuses Jen of using her to take out her anger on men and Jen truth-bombs Joey to the fact that she's scared to make a move on Dawson now that Jen and Dawson broke up. FRIENDSHIP ANULLED!

 Nina tells Dawson how Spielberg is not that amazing of a director (what a boner shrinker) but then mentions that she's in film school (nevermind!). Billy comes to break them up with this gem, "Nina, huh? Well, you can call me Columbus." Nice, dude. Outside of Club Club, Nina tells Dawson that he's sweet but obviously trying to forget someone. Whatever, they kiss.

An argument develops after Nina leaves Club Club where Dawson finally sees that Billy just wanted Dawson to have a random hookup so that Billy could pick up the pieces of Jen. UGH! People are mean! Dawson tells him off in the most 1952 way possible, "If you care about Jen, then you will stay away from her!" Pacey is making that face because Billy is about to leave town for real this time and recind his ride home.

Abby Morgan returns to Jen and Joey with another CONFIRMED rumor that Date Rape Dan couldn't have had sex with Joey because all his old girlfriends say he has low T and erectile dysfunction. That's rough at 17.

Joey meets Dan in the hallway to tell him she will call a truce if he admits to their sex rumor as being false. He then ASKS HER OUT. Seriously, dude? Joey's response is, "Sure. Pick me up right after my labotomy." How did I ever doubt you, Josephine Potter?

Jen and Joey make up over a carton of ice cream, otherwise known as Friend Makeup Sex.

The next morning, Dawson is JUST coming home. His parents don’t even seem to have noticed that their son was missing all night. Also, neither him nor Joey (who is waiting for him in his room) seem to be interested or worried about getting to school. Ok, Kevin Williamson, if only your worlds were real.

Joey tucks Dawson into bed to get some rest after a long night of bus rides to get home from Providence. He asks if she can wait until tomorrow to hear about his escapades. She stares into the distance and mutters, "Oh I can wait..." I know you can, homegirl. You'll wait the rest of the season.

  - fp

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  1. I could read a recap of every episode if you were writing them fp, I was lol'ng the whole time

  2. Love it! By the way I LOVE pasta and milk...