Sunday, January 1

Let's All Watch Dawson's Creek Together - Episode 8: The Boyfriend

So...picking up where HelloGiggles left off, I put my foot down about the fact that I cannot wait to watch the rest of Dawson's Creek and I also can't not blog about it. My beloved husband got me the beloved complete series DVDs and I hope you'll join me in my endeavor to finish the series...through blog.

Let the record show that I am and always have been a Pacer, not a Dawsoner. And that the profound effects of this show have echoed throughout my life. Though, like anything that comes out of the WB (what the hell is the CW?), I take its melodrama with a grain of salt. That being said...let's bang out Episode 9, shall we?

Dawson is watching TV alone in his room, unsure of what to settle on. He stumbles upon scrambled porn which makes him very confused.

He gives up and settles on American Movie Classics, Mr. Smith Goes to know, like most 15 yr old boys would. Joey enters, stage window. She is complaining about how exhausted she is from Bessie's baby crying and being up all night trying to soothe him. It makes her scowl. Just look at what a good scowler she is.

So good. Dawson let's his Pal Joey sleepover at Leery Manor to catch some decent sleep. As she snoozes, he morphs into a 1950s mid-America mayor and laments about how you just can't find nice young men anymore.

The next morning he is about to go down to the kitchen (Joey ran away in the night?) where Mrs. Leery and Mr. Man Meat are eagerly calling him to PLEASE  break their AWKWARD breakfast up a bit, its PAINFUL. Sensing social danger, he hightails it outta there. They are left to silently damn him as they struggle for conversation over dramatic, intense 90210-style guitar riffs. These are adult problems, that need adult theme music.

Pacey is chilling out with The Old Man and The Sea before school, you know, like most 15 yr old boys would, when he almost gets run over while crossing the street. Who is this hooligan badass in a fancy 1990's convertible and leather jacket? Uncle Jessie? Joey Lawrence? Nope! Its WannaBe Paul Rudd! Jen's ex boyfriend from NY-where-sex-is-twice-as-fast!...or something.

Cut to the Potter residence (its a straight-up house, why do they always refer to it as a trailer??) where Joey can't artfully blowdry her hair because there's only one bathroom and Bodie is showering. Wait...BODIE IS SHOWERING?! Which Bodie?! Show us in the shower! If a bodysnatcher showers, do they undo the zipper in the back?!

In school, Dawson helps Joey study for her Spanish test ("La bicicleta de mio tio es muy bueno.") and he explains how his relationship with Jen is just peaches and cream.
This whole screenshot is the definition of foreshadowing.  And Jen actually compliments Dawson on that sweater. Really, Michelle Williams? Unnecessary.

Wannabe Paul Rudd, named Billy, sneaks onto a public school campus and steals an angry Jen away from 1st period so that she can explain how its over between them. Dawson and Cliff watch from afar and have a Stripy Sweater Pity Party.

No, but seriously, Cliff is having a BBQ at his place and wants Jen to attend.

The Leerys decide to reconnect by trying new activities together...hey, whatever staves off divorce, am I right? Ha! But why didn't it work, Mr. Man Meat? "Because I can't get the image of my wife playing Hide The..." PLEASE finish that sentence, Man Meat!!

Cut to Jen, outside with Dawson, begging him to let Wannabe Paul Rudd stay over at his house for the night because the 4 hour car ride from Boston-area to NY-area can only be done in sunlight, apparently. And apparently, Dawson's Creek was filmed in a world where two parents in the middle of a marital breakdown allow their son to have a PERFECT STRANGER gentlemen caller stay overnight. And just look at this guy...what a charmer. Wouldn't you want to be caught boinking him in your parents bed? He meets, then hangs with Dawson and asks, "What are you, some kind of film buff?" HEY. DAWSON. LOVES. MOVIES. OKAY?

After Billy starts spouting the gory details of what Jen was like in NY, Dawson covers his ears, starts yelling LALALALA, and runs over to Joey's where he complains about how horrible TERRIBLE his life is. Making Joey scowl. Dawson, don't you know that no one's life is harder than Joey's??

Look at the wrath she's about to unleash on him. Poor bastard.

Back at Leery Manor, Jen explains that Wannabe Paul Rudd's presence is making her confused about her feelings. Jen, don't you know that only Dawson can be confused about his feelings?? Dawson orders her to attend Cliff's BBQ party...because as his girlfriend she must!

At the video store, Joey is attempting to rent The English Patient because it puts Baby Alexander to sleep, but she's being thwarted by Pacey's silver-tongued truths. "You just can't wait to get your hooks into Dawson something good, can't ya?" Oh, Pacey, you always know how to cut to her heart.

Joey is getting overwhelmed at work ("picking the glass out of the ice machine, scraping the mung out of the Fry-O-Later", what the hell kind of restaurant IS The IceHouse?), but Pacey shows up to beg her to come to Cliff's BBQ so he won't go alone. I LOVE the extras in this scene, particularly the exasperation conveyed. If you watch this scene many times, you can hear the things the extras dub-shouted over this scene.

There's a great interlude scene where Mr. Man Meat confesses to Dawson that there are no definitive answers when it comes to love advice. Dawson is changing to go to the party and takes off his sweater to reveal underneath his hard, muscular...other sweater.

Billy and Jen talk about how she's leaving him for a guy with an ET doll. Shes promises him one last kiss if he will leave and we finally get to see how they do it in New York.

Back at Cliff's BBQ party, which looks like a Newport Slims ad, they're listening to Blink 182's Dammit, so you know its a real party. Also, I guess I blocked out the fact that men's ponytails were huge in the 90's. Pacey goes to hit on a girl and asks Joey how he looks. "Like the before picture in an ad for Geek Remover." Classic Joey. She catches Dawson who suggests they grab a drink and go to his studio (bedroom) to hang out. On the way to the apparent beer keg, Dawson sees Jen. She apologizes, and he completely forgets Joey.

Joey sees them walk away together towards the beach and starts flirting with Thor and drinking heavily.

Wannabe Paul Rudd didn't really leave (WHA?!) and confesses that his goodbye kiss to Jen was tittillating. Dawson calls her slut and then makes this face. Utter bonehead.

Jen storms off, flanked by Billy and Dawson, which marks the second time that she storms off with two dudes fighting over her just this season. Billy flees the beach. A drunk Joey and Thor are sucking face farther down the beach until Pacey breaks them up and punches Thor. Joey passes out and thanks Dawson, who she believes to be her saviour. Pacey rolls his eyes. We all do, Pace...we all do.

They bring Drunk Joey home, mumbling "Tartar sauce..table", and while Pacey tries to calm Baby Alexander, this happens:
He looks about as shocked as I did. On the way home, Dawson tells Pacey that they kissed and it was obviously nothing because she was drunk, right? Pacey attempts to explain that Joey loves him but Dawson won't hear it. Listen everyone, Pacey's had sex, okay, so he knows all there is to love.

Jen awaits Dawson on the pier, where she explains that she doesn't want to really date anyone right now, and that they should cool it. Technically, end it. Dawson prays to his magic leather-strap-stone-pendant to make the sadness stop, but he's done. Jen's final words: "'I'll miss you, you know."
 Oh you will will.

 Roll credits.
   - fp

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1 comment:

  1. "Joey enters stage window" and "Dawson prays to his Leather-strap-stone-pendant to make the sadness stop" are my favorite lines.

    I lovelovelove it