Texts From Hillary

Texts From Hillary is an amazingly funny new Tumblr.

-jv
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Manohar Aich

In 1952 at the age of 39 Manohar Aich won the Mr. Universe bodybuilding competition. Manohar Aich, who usually goes by "Great" as in "Great" Manohar Aich, was born on St. Pat's day in 1913. "Great" was born in a remote village and began his fitness career while recovering from an illness when he was 12. "Great" grew to have a 53 inch chest and an only 23 inch waist, V shaped to the extreme. "Great" is also only 4 feet 11 inches tall. "Great" won the Mr. Universe title in 1952 after having come in second the year before and continued to finish in the top 5 for years to come bringing him well into his 40s. After retiring from competition himself "Great" went on to open gyms and become a fitness personality in India. "Great" credits his longevity with living a stress free life, and never smoking cigarettes or drinking booze.  "Great" has never met Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Great" recently

"Great" back in the day

 -jv
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Pic of the Day: Real Life Up House

This happened in real life.

-av
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Michelle Williams for President, or Best Actress, whichever.

Full disclosure, I haven't seen My Week With Marilyn, yet. But I intend to. And I'll be rooting for her come Oscar night, not just because I have faith that she knocks it out of the park as Miss Monroe, but also because I just like her. 

I didn't always like her. She was the bane of Joey Potter's life for a few years, while sporting a particularly bad haircut. However, she went out of her way to prove herself in films after D.Creek wrapped, leading to amazing films like Brokeback Mountain and Blue Valentine. 


Honestly though, it comes down to this. She has handled the loss of her child's father with so much grace that I can't help but root for her. Reporters can't help but ask about Heath and her answers will break your heart. 


Why do you keep your hair so short? - Elle UK
"I cut it for the one straight man who has ever liked short hair and I wear it in memorial of somebody who really loved it."


Do you think there was a part of you that imagined the two of you would somehow end up together? - GQ
"I said it would make me too sad to answer but it's also..."—and she nods even as her voice breaks once more with tears—"...one of my favorite things to imagine." And through the tears, a beaming, almost beatific smile stretches room-wide across her face. "It's actually one of my favorite places to visit."

I never thought I'd shed a tear over a GQ article, but damn it, Jen, you just wreck me sometimes. 


-av



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Home Made Hot Pockets

I love Meatball & Mozzerella and Ham & Cheese Hot Pockets. I remember back in the day KV bought a big box of the Meatball & Mozzerella that he was planning on stretching out and having for breakfast for the next long period of time, this was a BJ's size box, and I took advantage of there being something quick and delicious in my moms kitchen for the first time ever and promptly ate them all in a glorious fatty fat kid weekend. THEN I had a Hot Pocket fresh out the Toaster Oven and it was like "Hello World, nice to meet you" crispy flaky outside and all Hot and Ham & Cheesy inside. Ideally when trying to speed cook a Hot Pocket while still having it taste as delicious as possible, obviously, you want to microwave the Hot Pocket for about a minute and then take it to the Toaster Oven and toast it on the more than medium brown setting. It'll be life affirming. OR you can made your own Home Made Hot Pockets using this recipe.


Ingredients:
1 Package of Croissants
8 Slices of Ham
8 Slices of American Cheese

Steps:
-Preheat your oven to 350
-Open the Croissants
-Separate the Croissants
-Roll each of the Croissants with 1 piece of Ham and 1 piece of American Cheese
-Allow oven to come to temperature
-Place Rolled Croissants into an ungreased baking pan
-Bake for 18 minutes

-Voilà

 -jv
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Ned Kelly's Last Wish

 Ned Kelly is the Australian Jesse James. Ned Kelly was born in June of either 1854 or 1855. He definitely died November 11, 1880. Ned Kelly was hung at the Old Melbourne Gaol, gaol being Australian for jail, and his last wish was to be buried in his family graveyard. To this the Aussies running The Gaol said things to the effect of "No" "No way mate" and "Not on my Barbie" and proceeded to throw Ned Kelly's body in a mass grave they had going at The Gaol.  Last year Ned Kelly's body was identified and just this last week Anthony Griffiths, Ned Kelly's Grand-Nephew, was granted permission to exhume and rebury Ned Kelly. Sometimes you need 131 years to make a wish come true.

Also, Ned Kelly has the best hair in history.

-jv
Happy Ned Kelly Day

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Endangered Flying Rinos

I came across these pictures today and had to share. They look fake right? Apparently they're real, documenting the transportation of 19 critically-endangered black rhinos to a secret new location (away from poachers). They're sleeping, and this is supposed to be the most humane way of transporting the rhinos since they have to be tranquilized for a shorter period of time than they would in a truck.

Plus it's bad ass! I hope these guys like their new spot, Wikipedia tells me there are only around 4,000 black rhinos left in the world.
-id

Dude-Bros Getting Scared

Those of us in the East may have had part or all of our Halloween festivities cancelled due to that totally unexpected and super abnormal snowstorm last week. I've been hearing some resentment from the injured parties, so please allow me to cheer you up with these amazing pictures of dudes in a haunted house getting the bro scared out of them.

Blond Fear

Hoodie Fear

The scariest part is that the two on the left are the same age. 

The rest of this awesome collection is here. The dudes flying solo in the haunted house were too sad for me to post. But they are hilarious.

-av

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Ryan Gosling, Feminist

You know all about Fuck Yeah, Ryan Gosling, and maybe you've seen him reading some of the best "Hey Girl" submissions aloud,so I know you'll want to be at the forefront of the newest Ryan Gosling meme.

Introducing Feminist Ryan Gosling:

-av



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Michael Myers, the artist

I was on Pinterest. I came accross Daniel Alarcon Jr. He had just posted a tattoo, Pinterest is awesome for looking at tattoos, and I loved the board. Checking out his other boards I saw that he had one dedicated to posters. My favorite was the minimalist The Flash poster. Some internet detectiving later I learned Michael Myers the artist had created the Flash poster.

I also learned that Michael Myers the artist is really awesome. He made animated versions of the LOST characters, AMAZING. Also awesome Zach Galifianakis as a zombie. And the best Star Wars posters ever. He even gives Lex Luthor a poster.

Walt

&

-jv
Poster Enthusiast
Internet Detective

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TIMBER!

I love when art can blow you away, make you wicked jealous, and totally inspired all at once.  TIMBER! was created by artist Chad Eaton in 2006. Each new piece builds on the works created before it enriching a larger TIMBER! story about the life of a lumberjack and their dealing with bosses life in the woods and occasionally Bigfoot. This is the first one I saw, its also my favorite.

-jv
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Planking VS. Owling

As I think you all know, planking has become a sport of choice to hipsters and humans alike when faced with a flat surface, a camera, and nothing to do. However, sometimes people get the idea in their head to plank on less-than-flat surfaces, like these folks here:

So nice, it could be a post card.

That just doesn't look comfortable, or hygienic.

 This girl isn't even planking well. And she's wearing Uggs on an obvi warm day. This shows how far planking has invaded society.













And yet, despite all the planking that has been occurring, there has been another phenomenon sweeping youth culture and the nation called Owling. Here, take a look:

Spidey does it like no other.

Because who respects any aspect of Canada, right?

Even Ewatz does it, and we all know how I feel about her.



















So, we are now faced with a decision. Take your pick. Planking or Owling. But whichever you choose, just remember that Emma Watson loves people that Owl, and that if you're planking, don't wear Uggs at the same time.

-jb

Gollum is precious...to me

Alright, I know some people hate on Gollum. MikePirog is NOT a big fan, finds him gross and thinks he's a more successful Jar Jar Binks. But allow me to tell you why i LOVE THE CRAP out of Gollum.

One night while I was walking home from Vocal Suspects practice, it was raining and damn dark and I was going from Herder to Orchard Hill (if you don't speak UMass, it was a decent distance considering it was near 11PM). I was spooked to begin with because I'm a total pussy, but then one of the trees in Haigis Hall starting rattling CRAZILY and I heard Gollum whispering, "precious....so juicy sweet..." Before I could whimper in nervousness, a dude jumps out of the tree and says, ""HAHAH, Hey, I'm just messing with you, my name's Sean."

It was an amazing freshman year kind of friendship that was fierce and then died away slowly. And his impression of Gollum was SO good. One night, we made a slideshow of images of Gollum set to the song "Foolish Games" by Jewel. I pissed my twin extra long sheets I laughed so hard.

(Gollum with Precious)



Then, before Photoshop was readily available, we would take images of Gollum and put him in funny locations (Hampshire Mall, my graduation party, the White House). We had no idea that others around the globe were doing the same thing. What I'm trying to say is that Gollum's appeal is that he is so pitiful and goofy that he can make anyone say, "What the fuck?"

So, if I were to re-create that amazing slideshow, here are the pics I'd use. (I made none of these)

p.s. when my husband wants to mess with me, he wakes me up in Gollum's voice. Its scary, trust me.


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Shark in the Street!

No, not really. Its totally fake.It might be the best picture from Hurricane Irene though. Its not better than the picture from the Washington Earthquake though.

-jv
amateur meteorologist
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Bears Are Monsters

Thats a shaved bear. Also if you ever wanted to know what a very determined monster looked like it covers that too. Look at those fucking claws. 
-jv
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You should be following @mental_floss

@mental_floss is constantly tweeting amazing facts that I haven't ever read before. @mental_floss recently blew my mind by telling me that one in every thirty million lobsters is yellow. 
A FUCKING YELLOW LOBSTER!

If that isn't enough to get you following @mental_floss I think these three facts will.

-jv

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Are You Rich?

Not sure if you are a wealthy millionaire?

Here is a quick way to tell. Fish through the stacks of hundred dollar bills in your wallet. Did you find one of those weird ones that doesn't have any zeros on it? if you did and you know what that thing is: then you are not a rich millionaire, continue buying scratch tickets.

go ahead and check.

 -ED

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Minimalist Fairytale Posters

Like id's post about Poe books with new awesome covers these fairytale posters are sweet and simple. My favorite is the 3 Little Pigs, if you wanna see more theres a whole collection to check out.

 

-jv
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Pinterest is my creative distraction

Recently I've become obsessed with Pinterest, a self-described “virtual pinboard” and hub for all things visually-inspiring. Rather than racking up a long list of bookmarks, I “pin” images to my Pinterest boards when I find something interesting online. Recipes, DIY projects, artwork, quotes, landscapes, fashion—anything worth remembering. You can "follow" other Pinners' boards so you can see what your friends find exciting. I'm LOVING following Alice, Jill, KatieCaff and Lucy.

When I get stuck in my writing at work I often browse Pinterest for the sake of creative distraction. It’s inspiring to be presented with an array of fresh visual ideas whenever I want. And like all things social, my Pinterest experience would be much better if you joined. The site is still in closed beta (let me know if you want an invite!), but the interface is beautifully done and I expect big things in their future.

-Senior Pinterest Correspondent
id

Baby Animal Adorableness

After Amy Winehouse joining the 27 club yesterday I wanted to look at some adorable pictures. Baby animals did just the trick. These were my favorites.

Baby Pandas start off looking really weird. They are all pink and hairless and they don't open their eyes for weeks. Then the amazing adorable magic stick gives them a beating and pandas like this little guy start warming hearts all over the world.

Someday this tiger will be totally scary looking, or maybs we just got lucky because while I was looking for the most adorable little tiger this mofo kept being around and scaring the bejeesus outta me. Luckily this little guy was there to adorable up the whole scary situation.

Oh My God baby zebras. Mohawk, check, Stripes, check, Wobbly legs, check. Like horses only more fashionable zebras know a thing or two about looking good and this little guy shows that they start the good looking parade early.

Then there is live action adorableness. This sloth yawns and the whole world gets brighter. 

Other adorable baby animals include elephants, sea turtles, and dolphins.

-jv
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