Wednesday, November 28

Slenderman...I'm Rull Sorry

I am rull sorry to be the one to post this. I am NOT a scary-things person. If you're not, just forget this.
Maybe you've heard of this. I had not.

Today I had an old person moment. Two students of mine were raving about building their own version of this game called Slender.
Student: "Profe, you know Slenderman right?"
Me: "UH...wuh?", she mumbled, looking up from her balanced checkbook and responsibilities.
Students: "Profe...you don't know Slenderman? Its Slender!?"


So, doing a quick Wiki search (because my students told me that its a horror story game, and I don't stand for that shit) I found that Slender is a computer game. I had seen the app dozens of times and noted how even the app picture looked creepy, so I just ignored it and scrolled on by.
See what I mean? Creepy.
I come to learn that it is an internet sensation. Its a first-person survival horror game and basically you can scare the pants RIGHT OFF yourself. The downloadable game was taken off the Internet because it crashed after being offered for free.

The game haunts you with The Slenderman, an image/icon/character started by SomethingAwful.com.  He is always depicted as being tall and thin and able to stretch his appendages to whatever size necessary. Necessary for what? For kidnapping children, that's this Boogeyman's MO. Something Awful sponsored a "paranormal pictures" contest and asked users to manipulate old photos to create a fakelore story. A man named Victor Surge created these two images with the backstory that after these photos were taken both the photographer and 14 children went missing.

slenderman-1-708110.jpg

slenderman-2-784777.jpg

KIDS?! TALL CREEPY GUY?! TENTACLE ARMS?! OLD PHOTOS?!

Ladie and gents, THIS is my Kryptonite. I like to READ about American Horror Story - not watch it. NO no no. So, Slenderman has been occupying most of my Wikipedia searches. Trying to understand how something like this gets big and gets to be one of iTunes top apps. Just TRY Googling this shit and your computer will blow up with information. Information about a FAKE story about a mythical creature.

What the fuck is WRONG with people,
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Saturday, November 3

Tryptophan: An Investigative Report

Cheddar Cheese Has Twice As Much Tryptophan As Turkey. Postprandial Somnolence Is The Technical Term For Being Rull Sleepy After Eating. Postprandial Somnolence Occurs When Our Parasympathetic Nervous System Perks Up To Deal With The Food We Just Ate. Our Parasympathetic Is The Other Side Of Our Fight Or Flight Response Coin Which Is Powered By Our Sympathetic Nervous System. The Parasympathetic Nervous System Wants To Sit And Digest And Rest. Glucose Is Sugar And Everything is Sugar When We Eat Sugar Insulin Does Work So Our Blood Can Keep Doing Its Thing In The Mean Time All Sorts Of Amino Acids From Our Food Are Finding A Spot To Chill. Tryptophan Is An Essential Amino Acid With No Place To Chill So It Keeps Floating Until It Gets To Our Brains Where Our Brain Does Magic And Makes Tryptophan Into Serotonin Then Magics That Serotonin Into Melotonin. Serotonin Makes Us Happy And Melotonin Puts Us To Sleep.

-JV
Investigative Wikipedia'r
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